Monday, July 31, 2006
It's the last day?
--> Everyone needs a guardian angel...
It's the last day...and got nothing more to say liao..casue all my feeling was written in the previous post...haha....really thx alot for spending those time with me...as for the promise...i still make my promise to u.."No matter wat happen,As long as u need me,i will always be by urside,to be there with you".....this i still keep my promise...lastly...REALLY FOR THE LAST TIME I SAID THIS TO YOU..." I LOVE YOU "
11:55 PM--> It's always feel great to know that there is an angel watching over you...
My last missing of you
--> Everyone needs a guardian angel...
Today will be the last day that my tears will be welling out of my eye for u and also be the day that i will miss u badly...last and once and for all...i know that u have long made ur choice...and i am sorri that now then i started to made up my mind... as for now all i can do was to keep all those time spend with u in my memories...the day we r together were really bless..it still so vivid in my mind..so fresh and so real....but wat can i do...i cant do anything...you know that i'd fight for u but how could i fight for someone who isn't even there!...maybe right from the start our fate can onli become friends..... after knowing you..let me know that the improtant of study...and the taste of failure...now i really regret a lot....why i dont wan study in the past...all i do was slack and doing nothing...and i also hate myself..why cant i know the improtant of study....so that when i met u...at least i can still.......haha...who can i blame...onli myself..cause it the way i choose to live...and it already in the past..that nothing i can do now....after i had known ur decision,,,i was hurt...tell u the turth i was....after that day all my time was spent in darkness..sometime i was thinking ..why isn't there a blink of light to get me out of there...i really urge someone can give me a lighted path to walk on..so that i will not think so much....and when every time i miss u..all i can feel was pain..sadness..heartbreak and loneliness...sometime tears will just flow down....even i attempt to stop it but it's just too hard...every scene of our past will flash thought my mind and all i can do was to cried out all the pain that cant hide in my heart anymore....when friends asked how i was..i cant reply them anything..and in order not to make them worry i can onli give them a fake smile...i feel sadness in my heart but i just dont dare show it...just dont dare show it.....everytime when i know that the fact you r no longer here for me..it was just too much for me to bear...it took me a long time to get out of those warm and happiness u give me....in the end all was just a illusion..a past to let me drag on...a past to let me think of...a past to let me know that i had once love you.....today i go back to thsoe place where we had been...even it onli just a few place..but it really mean a lot to me...but i think i had made the wrong choice to go back those place...cause all it bring was loneliness and sadness....u r not there with me anymore...even last time i used to accompany u ..but today..i was all alone....ur smile was gone,ur shadow was also gone...all of a sudden i fell cold which caused by the emptiness in my heart...lucky at that time it was night time around 9++pm..if not those passby will stop and asked why i have tears flowing out of my eye...lol....this is a phrase by my friends..lionel.."He cried out loud,feeling helpless,broken down by the alternate attacks of Heartbreak and Loneliness.Heartbreak and Loneliness seemed to be telling him that it was all gone,Those happy times and those sweet memories"...it was a really very good phrase..cause it's was happening to me now....those pain,sadness,loneliness,heartbroken....it really hard to take it ...and now all i can do was to cry again...haha..i was really a cry baby..nvm..cause today will be the last time....lastly...thx for those sweet memories and those happiness u had gave me...it really mean a lot to me....and i really thx fate for leadind me to u....and foreven i will remeber that i had once love you before....and ur name will forever be in my heart.....Think this will be the last time i say this to u.." I Love You "
2:22 AM--> It's always feel great to know that there is an angel watching over you...
Friday, July 28, 2006
Do u all really understand me?
--> Everyone needs a guardian angel...
i really dont know how to get my life more fun man...every thing i feel around me is WAT THE FUCK UP...cant life just get better...i going to retake another years lei...but my those fren just think that...wah...i still the same as before....wtf..i really wan to study...but do u all give me a road to walk..no u all nv...then wat can i do?....even i show care and concern...u all just think that ok..i was just trying to act out as a kindness...then now again..wat u all wan me to do again?...I REALLY DONT KNOW LEI....I AM ONLI A 17 YEARS OLD GUYS LEI...I AM STILL YOUNG LEI...WAT WRONG I DO ? SO THAT NEED TO GO FOR ALL THIS FUCK UP THING...sometime..i was thinking..do u all really know who is Teh Chee Seang this 17 years old guys or not?...cause the way u all now showing to me is that...i am just another fren to u all onli...when got thing then we go help if got nothing..then just fren...DO U ALL REALLY UNDERSTANCE ME OR NOT...i think u all dont bah..casue wat i really wan,u all also dont know....this few day...i been thinking...then u all know wat...this is wat i come out...those who understand me the most do not know me well...those who do not understand me the most..know me the best...why lei..u all ownself go think about it bah....i really got nothing to say...sometime...this world is just a place for me to stay...as for other thing..i am onli an extra...my life is fill with no colour..no life...just a empty person with lof of FUCKING FEELING INSIDE OF ME.....sometime...i really think that living in this world is a sin...cause we born out to just suffer..and not to enjoy...in life there is always something to gain and something to lose.....and wat have i gain...wat have i lose?..all i gain is all those sadness...pain and sorrow..wat else..insult from others...and pressure from thing to another thing....there will be endless thing for me...till dead then i will be happy....wat's my yesterday and wat's my today?.....it just a dream to me...cause there is no need for me to look back my yesterady and go thought my today...not even to say a tomorrow...do i really have a tomorrow? nope..i dont have cause even i had it...it also going to be ruin.....just like every yesterday and every today.....just now a friend had told me something...then from wat he said...i really think i do not fit to be his best friends...i fail my duty as a friends....how am i going to save others when i cant even save myself...i dare not to tel him this.....no one really know me in this world...cause even now i also dont understand myself....WHO AM I....this 3 word..i been asking myself...i got a name..got parent and brother..but who am i really?....let just stop this..i am just too tried to go on...to go and take another step to go further and to move on.....
2:59 AM--> It's always feel great to know that there is an angel watching over you...
Thursday, July 27, 2006
it's the day tomoro for her
--> Everyone needs a guardian angel...
today...27/7/2006...is her date for her to go check up...haha....really hope she will be alright..casue i really dont wan anyting happen to her....just hope that there is a angel in the heaven will bless her with luck and peace..and no other thing else will happen to her...as i say before...i will always be there for u,and will always be by ur side when u need me....
1:06 AM--> It's always feel great to know that there is an angel watching over you...
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Why it 's always u r the one?
--> Everyone needs a guardian angel...
why?...when ever ppl ask about you..i will always feel sadness coming out inside of me...? is it that i still cant get over u?..it's true that i still love u..but wat the use!..it's all over,our story will onli remain as a past tense....but i reallt still hope that our story can still go on...it will always be a present tense.....that onli a dream...cause i know that we cant get back to the way we r back then.....the more i wan to pull back the distance between us...the more i feel that the distance between us was like..........Wow..the more i pull the greater it move away from me.....but..one thing for sure...i still care for u the way i am...still miss u the way i am and still will love u the way i am...
"No matter wat happen,As long as u need me,i will always be by urside,to be there with you"
11:35 PM--> It's always feel great to know that there is an angel watching over you...
Is it hard to make decision? but why it seem so hard to me?
--> Everyone needs a guardian angel...
haiz...today....sad was the onli word i can say....casue i being to think that in life there is onli 2 road for u to choose....and that is wan or dont wan...the rest u can't actually choose it...other will help u make ur choice..but of couse...the rest is still up to u....makeing a decision is hard..but making the right decision is even harder...so now u all can say that i was kind of a bit lose bah...haha.....
12:17 AM--> It's always feel great to know that there is an angel watching over you...
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Sometimes..Things are better left to be unsaid..
--> Everyone needs a guardian angel...
What u all have see here..is a private post by me....as i thought that people will rarely go back to the first page to look at these post again..that why i post in the very first post of my blog...if you happen to be those unlucky one to see it...then what ever u see just keep it quiet...
Sunday,12 august,2.00am
haha...now i'm really lose in my own contradiction..haha..i really don't know wat to do..even thou i really still love her a lot but wat can i do to it?,...at that moment of time i wanted to told her that pls don't use this way like break off a while to retain our relationship but i just cant do it...cause from my own point of view..that is the best way right now...if we continue the way we r,think we will break off eventually and many unhappiness will foke up...but really hope we can still patch back the way we r...but wat if we really break off...then i really have nothing to say le...if there is really such a thing call wish...then i will wish to be with u till the end of times..no matter how hard it is the road ahead for us..i will nv let go of ur hands...unless u r the one who let go first....so hope this thing can really end fast..=(...cause it's really making me suffer...really don't wan to hear the words of "break up" from you...cause i still love you a lot...but wat can i do...and if this really happen wat can i do...the most i will feel sad...hope i will not cry...even i did swear that i will never show my sadness and weakness to other people since 6 years ago...but even if i wan to cry...they will be no one to see it.....
" I'm lose in this world..feeling emptiness and loneliness... "
Monday,13 august,2.18am
haha...this few days i been feeling so damm empty and lonely hur...mainly because of u...in fact,on the veri first day we break off a while..i really feel relief..but after that day..most of my days r filled with emptiness and loneliness....and theres even a unexplained sadness popping out from my heart..then i once again know that without you..my life is incomplete...without you..all things that i done was just an illusion...nothing seem to be able to fill me completely...i miss you..miss your voice...miss your msg...miss everything about you...now i really regretted for not stopping us from taking this path...regretted for not telling u all my things...haha...last time got ppl wan to listen to me i don't wan to say..now dont have le..then typing all those remorseful in here and hope no one will not see it...wth..what a fucker i am...i must admit that I'm not use to tell others ppl my thing...even to u..i'm sorry...even i tried to tell you..but i just don't know how to speak up...in the end i will just keep all those things inside me..and hope i will clear it one by one...cause i dont wan u to feel burden as u also have quite lots of things to do...for others may think that it is stupid for not telling u all this...but for me..i really don't wan to add superfluous stress on you..but now..it really sound stupid to me...even being understanding is nice but being over understanding is not nice at all...cause u also wants to know all my things just like i do...still remember the dating on ur birthday?..that was the best day of my life...even we just went for a few places but it really happy me with the every mins and secs we spent together....thou we rarely went out for dating..and that was the very first date but also ended with the very last..i wants to date u more..i wants to spend more time with you....='(...i used to tell others that..if u wan a relationship to work well..then u must tell ur another half what u r thinking...but i just nv do this...i will onli know how to nag at others ppl...wat about me?..i just tell u nothing...haha...maybe its good that i will feel this way...so that i know how to treasure u more...eventually its just too late...nothing can do to resolve now...if i have the chance to patch back with u again...i will surly said this to you..."don't ever leave me again...i need you"
" i know I'm wrong...i wan u back and hug me tight once more...i really miss u..='( "
Wednesday,22 august,11.14pm
haha..i read you post...i read it once, twice, and thirce.....hmm...while reading ur thought...i just feel so sad and regrate...as u may not know..but i'm actually the one who told meng wee asked u all these thing and i just beside him while u reply him all those question..as u can put it the way as i read the whole post ..even it may seem really a bit stupid and fuck up...but at that moment if i talk to you it iwll not be a good times..haha...and for once again...i regrate....maybe i should asked these things myself.. but looked like things just turn out this way..and there is nothing i can do now...sometimes..when u tried to ask someone to help u ask the question...u may answer the question faithfully...wat if i asked u those question?...u will not give me the same answer...sadly to said...like the heading of this post...sometimes, things are better left to be unsaid....watever it is...i love you...
"just the 3 words u state in your post...not i'm sorry...from me is the words...i love you"
Friday,24 august,3.53am
Actually i thought that u r always the one who understand me the best...but i'm wrong...from that one msg which u said that...what i wan is not what u wan..from this i know that...u actually dont really know me well...haha....to me...to fall in love is the best things even had..but why cant u just listen to my feeling for once?...u will surly say that u did...but, do you?...to me...i thought that i dont have to tell u about everything then u will know le...just like how my father and mother used to be when they r dating...cause my dad also didn't tell my mum much things...but in whatever ways, my mum can feel it...that my dad have somethings wanted to tell her but just dont know how to speak up...so she will tell him that i know that u have problems...but tell me when u know how to speak up okie...and i thought that u will do the same...as u may know that i have problems and dont know how to speak up, u will still show concern to me and tell me that u know it just that u r willing to wait till i know how to say le then tell you...but u just nv do that...cause whenever i tried to gain more of your attention..u will just said...are you still okie?...anythings happen?...wanna talk about it ma?...that all u said..nv once i heard u say that...i know u have problems...just take your times and slowly get over it...and if u feel like telling me then u tell me bah...nv once i heard that..u can say that i nv tell you..but in my view of relationship...things always dont need to speak up and show out...all its matter is that ...u know my feelings...and u can sense it....but most of the time is i'm the one who keep senseing it....even thou that sometimes u did sense it and asked why...and i will just told you that nothing la...but then..u should know me by then...i'm a guy who dont wish to show my weakness and hope to gain more concern thought that...cause it just seem so unreal to me...when i said that i'm emo..then u will concern me more..what the use...cause i'm emo then u know that u needed to spent more times with me..that all...yes, this is a concern but this concern onli show when i tell u that i'm not in a good mood....and not because u know that i need it...this is also why i'm tired about it....cause u just nv tend to take the first step to do something...sometimes i really hope u will hug me out of the blue....and kiss me when i'm not paying attention..like that was once u does that..when we r in LRT..i was overjoy that u did that....cause it means so much to me ... that i'm one person who will make u do that..but after that...is the end....
most of your friends told me to haohao take care of you...tell me not to neglect you and not do things behind your back...and of couse treasure you...i had done all that....but in the end..u r the one who is letting go....so what the use of zhen xi something when u can just let go so easily...
haha..but i just cant do anything now...cause when a relationship went bad..is not because of one party fault....but both...i knew the game of love..but i'm also just another act pro who thinks that i'm playing the game right...
my msn sub-nick might sound exaggerate but this is the truth..cause at the end of the day...when u look back...u will just be left alone....maybe..i just get so used of feeling empty and lonely that the world dont even need me to exist...why cant someone know that being alone is such a scary things...i'm alone most of the times..even i have friends and family..but i just feel so lonely....maybe all i ever need was a relationship with true love and willing to walk the path with me.. when amira came into my life...i can felt that..i dont need to be alone anymore...i finally will have someone to care for me and shine in light to brighter my world...i thought that was a ture love but it was just a love eventually...then shujuan came into my life again..this time..i really felt that...finally i found someone who can hold onto my hand and walk this path with me....but i'm wrong again when i am so certain that this is a true love...now i'm just being left alone again....dejected to said that...dont know when...my world had been snowing....all u can see are pale white snow in there...where there are 2 houses with family and friends...but it just seem that i cant find enough comfort in there...
Wednesday,29 august,12.33pm
WTH...i'm emo-ing at this hot afternoon....dont know what happen to me..and dont know why i just feel so much like crying...looked like my emotional is getting out of control again...the onli place to hide it...is in my heart..but my heart had gotten too many things inside...and now..it just burst out like a balloon...there is no other places to hide my emotion...other then to locked it up in my heart...but looked like it is much more intoleable then i think...HELP...HELP...HELP...can someone come and save me..that was what my heart had been shouting out..that was also what i have been shouting out...it is drowning..and i cant do anything to save it<> i really tried not to wonder..but whenever i thought of you...my emotion...just snap...and always..it will end up with tears...i wan to lose these pain and sorrow...can someone just come and save my soul....
"I cry silently, I cry inside of me, I cry hopelessly...casue i know i never breath your love again...='( "
Thursday,30 august,2.47am
There is an unspeakable feelings inside of me now...and what really causes it..were the draft u left in my blog...from your draft..u seem to be irritated by the mistakes i made...as i made the same old mistakes again and again...like.."swelling" and sometimes with a"S" or no "S"..haha...i knew all these mistakes..and i purposely made them..just to see your draft again...but sometimes i really made it...=X...whenever i saw your draft...i really damm happy...because it will show that u still care for me...really thanks for everythings that u have done...now..i wish u will willing to once again be my girl...and stay by my side...
"i know my mistakes...i know i'm wrong..can u forgive me once more and come back to me once again?.."
Saturday, 1 september, 1.23am
i saw u today at the mrt..hehee..i am really so damm happy.=D..but upon the look at your face..u seem to look away...i really miss u a lot..cause it had been 3 weeks since i last saw u...and i still deeply in love with you..when we are in the mrt..i really wanted to go over and hug u..lol..but that seem a bit over la...and i just keep turning my eyes to take a grace of you...juan, when will you forgive me?..i really know my mistake...pls give me another chance?...i know u r emo tonight..and i just hoped that i can be there for you...i really miss you...and i mean it...
"From the start i saw u...those missing just get worst...i miss you badly...<3" style="color: rgb(102, 51, 255);">Friday, 07 September,11.35pm
" WO HEN BU SHANG "
that all i have to said...even i know that they r just friend...
Saturday, 08 september, 6.55am
haha..later going over to hospital in 2 hours time..hope i'll get some good news more then bad news..haha..but i still veri bu shang..=P..will update more on here after i'm back..=D
Saturday, 08 September, 1.45pm
haha..as i said..i will update more..but now i'm in a totally no mood to update more..when every things just seem so fine to me...and yet it turn out to be a negative news...and when every things i hope, will not go the ways unexpectedly...
But now...haha...k la..when i want to update..then i will update the detail...if not..then just leave it like that bah..thanks
" haha...heard the result, know the result, but i can't doing anything to it "
Sunday, 09 September, 6.00pm
haha...today went to hospital again...and of couse nothing good about it..how i wish i can don't need to go there anymore...haha...overall...
Juan,
i miss you lots...and my feelings for you is still the same...i still deeply in love with you...how i wish u can come back to me once more...staying by my side to be there with me...to give me warm, solace, and love....
haha..but i know all these is just my willful thinking...but just how i wish you r with me right now...when all i know is to find u and hug u to cry while u embrace me with your hug....but now..i onli have myself to be left alone...i really miss you..
Love,
Seang
Tuesday, 11 September, 2.10am
haha...i am missing her badly as usual...but, the feelings today have much more impact then before..there is an unspeakable feel inside of me...just as if my heart is going to be drown by those missing and heartaches...these missing just keep coming, whenever i tried to forget her...those missing will strike me once more...keep reminding me of those memories we had...and often..i will get killed by it...haha....but now i know...how much she meant to me...and how deep i had fall for her...
"how i wish i can turn back the time....but, i just cant ='( "
Thursday, September 13, 3.00am
hmm..it seem to me that..missing you is everyday of my life now..lol..lately u seem as if u gone from this world..didn't update blog....not even online...haha...if u have totally vanish form this world...haha...i just wanna say..i miss you badly...even i know that we can't be together le..but i still miss you a lot...needless to say..i still love you...but overall, it is just a dream to me now..to be with you....so whatever it is....still the same old words....i will be there for you whenever u need me...=)
" i hope u r not trying to avoid me or what...last time when i saw u with another guy..i just feel so f**k up..maybe becasue i am jealous and i admit that i do....cause now the one who are beside you..is not longer me...as there will be some other guys taking it away....='( "
Thursday, September 13, 3.55pm
went to look at juan's blog first thing i woke up..haha..i know i been sleep till this late hours again..=P..and yup..there is an update...but then i just feel sad..cause dont know what is happening to her lately..and the post she worte..sounds related to me...if it was related to me...i dont know what i have done again to made her so sad...all i know is that..when she worte that she is crying at the last part..it just hurt me..whether if it is somethings relate about me or not...all i wan to do is just pei her and console her...then i went online..haha...YES, finally saw her online..lol...but she was right la..she dont need to be online everyday...lol....and was now chatting with her...haha..should i console her?...or should i not...i really feelings so stir up..cause if i go console..what should i say?....haha..okie..whatever it is..i just said some stupid things again...and this is what i said..." hmm...stay happy okie...=)...even i dont know what happen to you lately, but i hope u can always be happy....=).....bu yao ku le...=P "..i think as for the last part...i should not put it in...haiz...looked like it is going to make things worst...in the end..i still said wrong things again...=(
Monday, September 17, 2.00am
haha...finished quarrel with my dad not long ago...and then it link to me missing you...cause..again...how i wish you will with me when so many things happen to me lately...like those hospital report and family problems...i really miss you much..juan...even i don't know if the post in your blog was it about me or not...but even if whatever i did was wrong..u must tell me about it...cause i really don't know what have i lie to you...i been trying to find out..what have i done to make u so hated me...what have i done to make you think that it was all a lie...what actually have i done?....i just feel so lonely and empty without you...i know...times will heal every things...but to me..a feeling for you is never to be forgotten...because now u have become the one i needed most....i know that what i hoped is in vain...because u would never wants to come back again...looking at our photos and msgs once again..because i just cant bear to delete away...because that is the only memories i had with you...every single pictures we took was so lovely....and every heading of the pictures i put was so much with love....haha..but that was all in the past...
Every day of my life...no matter what i do..i will always feel this emptiness inside of me...and i know what i wanted... "it is you"....when all i ever need is you...='(
When those memories just don't seem to go away....and these feelings just cant seem to fade away.....then all i can do is to miss you...miss you...miss you and miss you
" Part of me wants to let you go...not because i don't love you anymore...it's because i know that you are tired...but another part of me told me to wait for you...all because of the word LOVE..."
Saturday, September 23, 1200am
It had been 1 month and 14 days...all my mind was only filled with you...and I been confusing myself...should I go and woo u back or should I just let the situation between us get worst?...this few days..I'm being emo over this things...I am sure that I still love you..my feeling for you is still so fresh....but yet...sometimes..I began to wonder..those posts in your blog..was it for me?..or was it for someone else..what really stuck me is the post of those hating....cause right till now i dont know what had happen...and from your another post...u seem that..u will never let me know about it...=(...haha...but whatever it is...
" No matter what happen..my door will always be open for you..waiting for you to come back...just remember that...there will always be someone....waiting for you.."
"I LOVE YOU...<3>
Tuesday, 25 September 2007, 1.18am
why do i still feel the pain, when i don't even have a heart to feel it?
why can't i just stop myself thinking of you...
so that i will not have to endure these pain when i am missing you...
why?..can someone just tell me why?...why can't i just let you go?...why do i still fell deeply in love with you when i had already know the truth?
Why it is so hard to walk away by telling myself that i'm going to give up..
WHY...WHY...WHY...='(
Wednesday, 26 September 2007, 1.50am
Today...if we r still together...most likely i will wants you to come out..so that we can have some time together...but...haha...things does not turn out to what i expect...=(
haha..sorry to those who know about this so called hidden post..lol..cause i really not mood to post le..=)...
"I only know...i wants you to be by my side...miss you lots...."
Thursday, September 27, 1.02am
this is how i feels today..=(
Let the tears fall
And wash away the pain
My glass heart breaks
A little each day
Hold me, watch me
Fade into deep shadows
A whisper of lies
Scraping my raw spirit
My glass heart bleeds
Leaving a crimson stain
Let the tears fall
And wash away the pain
" Cause it is u who will always made me miss u and love you.."
Friday, September 28, 2.33am
Whenever i miss her...i just can't stop my tears, cause i knew that she don't want to come back anymore...
this few days...I been having sleepless nights...and whenever the clock stuck 9pm....i will surly began to miss her like hell....maybe because last time whenever it stuck 9..i will always called her bah..sometimes,maybe 10...but..those missing have been there since the day I had fallen for you but now, it is getting worst....i admit that, i always do stupid things and say stupid things to hurt you...but i really dont mean it...i am a guy who dont know how to express myself...and dont know what to say or do to make it right...instead of doing the right things..i will always do the wrong things....
After losing her..I am always on the verge of breakdown condition...All my friends knew that...but they just dont wanna ask me about it...cause they know...rather then they tried to say somethings nice...they just keep quiet...and treat it as if i am back to my normal self again...
I admit that i am being too emotional about it...and i really love her a lots....that why when she walked away..i were very sad...and hope that she will come back to me again...
" I miss her a lots "
Monday, October 01, 12.19am
hmm...after 12 tonight..i decided to send a msg to patch up with her...so as hope to get her back...any comment pls reply in the tag box...just state that is it good or not..lol...thx....but i tihnk i will send her...=)...but the only things i fear is that..she will not reply me...so hope everything is fine...=0..wish me luck peeps...even i know that it will be hard....=(
Tuesday, October 02, 12.07am
hmm...thanks for those who msg me and asked how was the thing le....haha....it is a negative answer..of course as most had guess...=P....hehee..anyway..i am fine..dont worry about me ya...=D...so just let it go bah....let it go...can I...can la..but i really needed sometimes...>.<
Sunday,October 07, 1.11am
Hmm...from that day onwards...I just dont know why...I really still miss her a lot...haha...but then there is nothing I can do le....as i told myself that..after that night...I will try to forget you...but then, my heart just dont wanna give up yet..while my mind keep telling me...like what she said before...everything had ended...so almost every day, I am fighting a way out between them...
I'm still waiting for you..even thou I had did nothing to prove my feelings for you....but this is the turth...for i always remember this words in both my heart and mind....As long as u need me...I will always be by your side...to be there with you...=)
Even thou, nows a day my post been happier and getting "better" like some of you said..but I dont wanna show out anymore in those post...for I think it is meaningless..so now on...here will be my feelings for her...
" I'm always around...no matter how long it takes...For I still believe... "
" Someone asked me this question...why when I was with you I did not emo.....
It is becasue...u r the main source of my emotional...while u r there...my emo sickness is cure...when u r gone...I'm being emo sick again..."
Sunday, October 07, 6.18pm
I miss her lots..and i really still love her...i too..wanted the same....wanted us to be back to the normal we used to have...but i really don't know what to do to get back to those days...cause i really still love u a lot...lots of you may think that i have moved on with my life...but in fact...i haven...cause all along...i been stuck in those sweet days i had with her...if onli she knew....=)..that i'm all along still around her....and wanted her to be my once more....
Friday, October 12, 2.38am
2 months have past since we had broke up le....but till now..i still can't get used to the loneliness i am without her...even lots of u might think that i am over doing it le..but then...that what my feelings had been telling me...i still love her...and almost miss her every nights....so of you might think that i get over it le...by those post infront...but in fact, i am still stuck in there...still hoping u will be my once more...juan, after that day which i had send you the msg of patching up...i know that we can't get back together le.....so now all i hope...is u to be happy forever...when i can't once again be with u anymore....='(
" My feelings for her is still the same..but, looked like our fate ends here....='( "
Saturday, October 13, 2.46am
My tears just keep coming...my heart just keep shattering...not onli because of sadness...but also because of a love we shared can't be revive anymore...it hurts a lots when u know u just can't do anything about it.....='(
When all my heart long was you...
Tuesday, October 23, 12.10am
Alright, whenever i been here..is equal to ...I'm missing her and emo agian...i know that many of you who know this place told me not to come here anymore...But saying Goodbye to the person we love without wanting to is a painful way to say I Love You....how i hoped she is with me all along...raining night is what i am having now...it just keep reminding me of her...and i just can't stop it....sorry..ying jie....even after trying hard to store it in my heart for few weeks....now it just break through....but as i promise...i will post it down if i'm emo.....right now..i feel onli her..her...her....all about her...and nothing else....after 3 months of broke off....all along i been missing her....when I'm outside..i will always tried to search for her shadow...and if i found someone look alike...i just go to her front and take a look at her...to see if she is really her...but often to my disappointment....i really miss her a lot...and of couse still love her a lots...
"当所有人以为我喜欢孤单....是你敲我的门再把我点亮"
Monday,October 29, 12.13am
I just saw her post...and again...my instinct told me that her post sure have some hidden words..and i'm right again...upon seeing it...i have nothing to say...cause i wan her back badly...but i did nothing to prove it to her that i want her back...other that waiting for her...i did nothing else....=(
There are so many things i wan to tell her..there are so many things i wan to share with her....but...all just ended up in vain....
There are 3 words i been trying to tell her....and these 3 words i been wanting to hear from her again....--> I LOVE YOU
Monday, November 5, 1.42am
I found a song which she used to love...and right now..i just keep repeating it....and hear it again and again...what really bring back is the memories and of course..after memories is the pain thats followed....she used to love this song...cause she said that it is nice...=)...and right now..i am thinking...how she have been?..Does she still love me the way i still love her now ?....or had she found someone new ?.....Lot of questions were running thought my mind right now and all this questions lead to an unknown answers...as i don't even dare to ask her....sometimes, i was thinking...what is that thing that actually stop me from calling her..?....is it because that i knew she will not pick up...or hoped not to get another disappointment?...i must said that i am selfish..but..i too..wanted her to call me...hoping that she will one day...call me or msg me that she wants to patch up....and definitely, i will surly accept...But, when that time come...i am not sure if i still have much time left...=(
" 我也有很想听的话...=( "
Sunday,January 13, 6.oopm
haha...hmm, ying jie...i know u been keep calling me to forgot her...but then i think it's really hard...cause to be frank she is the 2nd women that i really love....and i thought that she is my forever....but like what u had said...forever this things for me is still too young...but then i still love her a lot...from my yesterday deverstated face..u can know how i wanted to be with her again..but then
I have moved to Seang-myfeelings.blogspot.com
1:29 PM--> It's always feel great to know that there is an angel watching over you...
